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Writer's pictureMelanie Cossins

How Can I Help My Child Be More Confident

Child dressed as a superhero

Ever had to stand up in public and make a speech? Did you feel petrified? Do you wish you had more confidence as a child?

Well imagine you are 3 years old and starting to really notice things around you. You will have been picking up vibes from birth from those around you and from the environment you are in.

As parents we pass on behaviours often unwittingly and sometimes we know our shortcomings and hope our children don’t adopt them. As a parent it is exhausting to think of all the things we should do to help our children on their journey.

There is one thing I really want my children to have and that is confidence. The confidence to speak up and speak out. The confidence to walk into an interview and be confident in speaking about themselves.

What I haven’t really consciously thought about is the voice and how we use it to express ourselves. The way we speak can change meaning, how we are perceived and consequently can make ourselves sound more interesting.

I recently attended a vocal course with Gillyanne Kayes. Of course, I was interested in learning more about the singing voice however I have never really considered the speaking voice. To be honest I have always disliked my speaking voice and feel people don’t listen because I sound boring! However, if I read a story to my children it is a different matter. I will use pitch in my voice, dynamics and tempo to express the story much the same as I would use in a song. This makes the story more interesting, adds character, meaning and depth. I know that all these things are important for children to learn and understand and that songs and rhymes also really help children’s grasp of language and speech.

Could learning to sing improve the way we speak and help my child?

We can tell a lot about someone through their body movement can we also tell a lot about them through their voice? If someone is sad maybe we could say that usually the voice is lower with less expression (possibly even monotone), they might even speak slower. Whereas someone who is happy or even excited are likely to speak faster and with a higher pitch. So, if we are speaking out in front of others having an idea of how to use our voice is going to extremely beneficial.

It appears that vocal lessons could actually not just improve your singing voice but also your speaking voice. Helping you use more intonation, expression, pitch and tones in your voice. When we hear singing we automatically tune into that singing voice from birth. Using a sing-song spoken voice could make us be heard more easily. Its natural and within us all to sing even more so to be musical. Perhaps you are already using a sing-song voice to communicate. Children use this to grab their parents attention ‘mum-my’ they might sing in a two pitch sound (much like the cuckoo). Parents are tuned into this call naturally, listen out for it.

Could it be then that singing can help us improve our spoken voice and therefore also develop our confidence? Can it help us communicate more effectively with readily listening ears? I do believe so.

Find out which songs to sing with your child here

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